Merry Christmas

Advent is coming to an end and Christmas is at hand.   As we come to this time of the year many dangers exist.   If we aren’t careful this time can become something it shouldn’t be.

*The Family Trap. I’ll start with this first less obvious danger.  Some will argue with this but it is a reality.  Christmas is not about family.  I’m not the Grinch but it really is not a time that is about a family reunion.  Having said that it is great that we do get together with our families to do what the holiday is really about- worshiping Christ.  But it really isn’t a time that should only center on seeing our loved ones.  It is nice we do that but that’s not the priority or the focus.   When Christmas fell on a Sunday a few years ago several mega churches called off Sunday morning services because they said Christmas was time for family.  Wow.  I don’t get that.  The day is not Jesus’ actual birth day and it had origins that are pre-Christian but when the church adopted this time it was as a religious time just like Pentecost, Easter, etc.  It was a time of worship and celebration and not sitting around and eating turkey and catching up.  I’m not saying you can’t do both but we should never sacrifice the original intent.

*The Material Trap. This is the easy one.  This is the one we all complain about but do any way.  Commercialism has defeated much of the season.  What if we agreed to not buy gifts (at least for adults)?  What if we just bought things for the kids but not for adults?  What if we gave that money to the poor or the church?

*The Habit Trap. It’s time to do it again.  We have to do this and that and then we move on.  We can’t change any of what we do because that’s what we do.  It’s a habit.  Nothing more.

Maybe you can think of other traps.  Avoid ‘em.  This is foremost a time of worship and praise.  We had a winter storm on December 20th and were unable to have our service and play/concert.  We are having a play/concert this week instead and will have our Christmas Eve service if the weather doesn’t hit hard again.  I’m praying we can meet because this is what it is about.  Yet on Sunday my family did gather in our bedroom and sang, prayed, and read Scripture.  We’ll do that again if the weather goes bad.  A few years ago when I met with my extended family we actually had communion together. I found that to be wonderful and inspiring.

A different generation went to war against Christmas.  It was attacked not by nonbelievers but by the church.  Puritans and others in the US and England felt that Christmas celebrations were worldly, pagan, and involved sin.  They worried it would take people away form Sunday services.  They banned it.  The population rebelled.   Yet before this time Christmas had once been a very holy time.  Now we are past the holy time, party time, and find ourselves into something different.  Now Christmas is watered down to be a time to get with family, spend too much, stress out, and rush around.   Let’s rebel!

Go and worship!

Celebrate!

Rejoice!

Blessings,

Derik

Does Your Pastor Need to Lift More Weights?

I’m confused. I know that fundamentalists and other conservatives do not support women in ministry. As a Baptist I’ve faced my share of criticism from such folks because the churches I serve have women deacons, Sunday School teachers, ministers, and leaders.   Most of the folks who now lead the Southern Baptist Convention and other similar groups do not even want to associate with churches that have women in such roles. A church in Georgia was removed after over a hundred years of fellowship because that church called a woman pastor. Yet the SBC is saying that diversity regarding charismatic gifts and Calvinism is OK but women leaders in the church is not. The SBC says it does not want to fight about whether you believe Jesus only died for some or for all people but if you have a woman in leadership in your church then that’s a violation of core Biblical teaching! I’m amazed.

Leaders in the SBC are saying that as long as churches hold to core teachings (Jesus, Trinity, etc) they can disagree on lesser issues (such as Calvinism and who Jesus really died for). They throw women leaders in with core teachings. I find this interesting.

Just when I have come to terms with the fact that it really bothers some Christians that women have equal roles in some churches a new twist has been introduced to me. I’m addicted to podcasting and I read many things and so over the past few years I’ve heard many leaders in the SBC and other conservative groups not only stress that only men can preach and pastor but that such men must also be manly.

I’ve heard Al Mohler (president of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary) comment about the need for manly pastors and men who have a “masculine presence.” I heard a podcast from Acts 29 (a Calvinist church starting group that has many SBC folks in it) talk in interviews about manly preacher.

I recently heard a young Baptist leader in NC talk about what type of pastor who can start a church and he needs to not only be a man but a “manly man” and with a “man with some gospel chest.” What does that mean?

Mark Driscoll and others who really push for women to submit to men talk about wimpy pastors with sweater vests who preach. They talk about church buildings that have feminine colors, etc and that the building must be masculine. The more you listen to these folks talk they go on and on about masculine men who are “dudes.” I’m not making this up. What’s this about? Not only is Calvinism becoming hip and cool (growing rapidly in conservative and SBC circles) but so is this masculine he-man attitude.

The big leader is Mark Driscoll who pastors a mega church in Seattle- Mars Hill. The church is aimed toward the young, tattoo, unchurched crowd and preaches a gospel where men lead and women stay home and take care of kids. Driscoll preaches over an hour and he is known for cursing in the pulpit and talking about sex in very coarse ways that has created some controversy. His humor and comments are such that I can’t even repeat some of it here. So I guess I’m not manly?

Driscoll talks about Jesus being manly and not a wimpy meek and mild wuss. He talks about Some call it “hypermasculinity” mixed with Calvinism. Driscoll says to those in his church who are critical, “They are sinning through questioning.”

On the plus side Driscoll does reach many the traditional church does not but I find some of the ways strange. Here are some Driscoll quotes:

“There is a strong drift toward the hard theological left. some emergent types want to recast Jesus as a limp-wrist hippie in a dress with a lot of product in His hair, who drank decaf and made pithy zen statements about life while shopping for the perfect pair of shoes. In Revelations, Jesus is a prize fighter with a tattoo down His leg, a sword in His hand and the commitment to make someone bleed. That is a guy I can worship. I cannot worship the hippie, diaper, halo Christ because I cannot worship a guy I can beat up. I fear some are becoming more cultural than Christian, and without a big Jesus who has authority and hates sin as revealed in the bible, we will have less and less Christians, and more and more confused, spiritually self-righteous blogger critics of Christianity.”

“You have been told that God is a loving, gracious, merciful, kind, compassionate, wonderful, and good sky fairy who runs a day care in the sky and has a bucket of suckers for everyone because we’re all good people. That is a lie… God looks down and says ‘I hate you, you are my enemy, and I will crush you,’ and we say that is deserved, right and just, and then God says ‘Because of Jesus I will love you and forgive you.’ This is a miracle.”

I read a web site where one key SBC leader who commending the new pastor to his new church and said that the new minister “has a masculine presence which is important.”

So do I need to life more weights? Am I man enough to pastor? Is God needing more Rambos? Does the worship service need to be more like WWF Smack Down? Do we need a Jesus who beats up the bad guys like in a Church Norris movie? Do we need a God of war or peace? I would love your comments but here are mine.

I do admit we need more men in church. Many churches are made up of a majority of women. I believe that many men in our culture do not desire a spiritual growth with God and shy away from church. I don’t think we need to strip emotions and sensitivity from God or change God into a tribal war god to draw men inside the doors. There is much work that needs to be done to help men understand their need for God and there is a need for stronger ministry to men in the average church. I admit that. I’m just not willing to change God or Jesus or the church into a he-man woman hater’s club (remember the little Rascals).

I don’t like seeing God as a mean God who zaps his enemies. I don’t like putting on tough guy images that are the only way a man can be. Rambo isn’t the only image of a man. The whole thing just creeps me out. I just don’t get this manly man stuff. Jesus laid down his life rather than waging war. Jesus washed the feet of his servants rather than bossing them around. The image of a servant is not a wimpy and weak one. It takes more guts to go against the violent hate filled world than to join it. The civil rights movement was made of men and women who allowed others to beat them, turn dogs on them, and water hoses on them rather than picking up clubs and weapons. The result was victory. Peter reached for his sword and Jesus said to put it away. Jesus was the one who called himself the Prince of Peace.

I also don’t believe a woman has to stay home and tend the babies only. If a woman wants to that’s fine but women have a right to work and be mothers if the wish.  Guilt trips are not fair.

I also don’t believe women have to stay silent in the church and let the men do all the leading. Why can’t we work together and serve Jesus?  Why do we keep longing to have power over one another?  Why can’t we let God be boss?

I could go on. But I might need to find some weights and beef up.

Blessings,

Derik

The Death of Oral Roberts

Oral Roberts, the famous Pentecostal preacher, died at age 91 this week. Roberts founded a school and became a famous figure in Christianity.  Roberts was a charismatic and his preaching reflected his belief on miracles and healings.  Roberts is considered the father of the prosperity gospel.  This is the idea that if we are strong in faith we will prosper financially.  It is the idea that God desires for us to be wealthy and favors us by making us wealthy.

Roberts also had some interesting moments in his life.  In 1977 he announced that he had a vision of 900 foot tall Jesus telling him to build a research center and hospital.  In 1980 he had another supporting vision.  His dream lasted eight years before the hospital closed.    His dream was to merge medicine and prayer.

His fund raising was controversial.  In 1987 he said on TV that he had raised eight million dollars by that March he would be taken home to heaven.  He did raise his money but it cost him his reputation to many.

More controversy happened in 1987 that his son was saying that he had seen Roberts raise a child from the dead.

Despite some struggles and issues his college is still in existence today.

What issues does the life and ministry of Oral Roberts bring?

The charismatic issues do bring theological questions that need to be considered. Healings, speaking in tongues, etc are not something all Christians are comfortable with or practice as charismatics do.  Claims of raising the dead are difficult to believe and can turn off many who are not Christian.  The excesses of the word of faith movement have lead to many theological controversies. Roberts claims about God threatening to take him off without a set amount of money is also troubling.

Yet I realize charismatic faith is growing. It is the fastest growing form of Christianity today.  And the excitement, joy, and passion they express is something all Christians can learn from. The fact that charismatics are very inclusive to other races and reach out to the poor is another lesson we could all learn from as well.

However the prosperity movement is a troubling movement. I have serious problems accepting the name it and claim it theology.  I do not accept that God desires for us to be wealthy.  Many great Christians struggle with health and financial issues.  Mother Theresa’s ministry is a great example of reaching the poor and I do not remember her riding in a limo.  Roberts may not have meant for such excesses that have come but he did lay the ground work for it.

In his life Roberts did many good things and shared the gospel of Christ to countless numbers.  I do not wish to demean his ministry.  His passion and love for God was real.  Yet I did and do have problems with his theological legacy.  We see this next generation coming out in the prosperity gospel with some huge theological problems.   In the end a part of Christian history is passing as we see folks like Roberts pass.

Blessings,

Derik

Grace

“Grace is but glory begun, and glory is but grace perfected.” –Jonathan Edwards

“God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things that can be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish one from the other”-Reinhold Niebuhr (American theologian, 1892-1971)

“God appoints our graces to be nurses to other men’s weaknesses.” -Henry Ward Beecher

“Grace is given of god, but knowledge is bought in the market.” -Hugh Clough

“Man is born broken. He lives by mending. The grace of God is glue. -Eugene Gladstone O’Neill (1888-1953)

“A man must completely despair of himself in order to become fit to obtain the grace of Christ.” -Martin Luther (1483-1546)

“A state of mind that sees God in everything is evidence of growth in grace and a thankful heart.” -Charles G. Finney (1792-1875)

“All men who live with any degree of serenity live by some assurance of grace.” -Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971)

“For grace is given not because we have done good works, but in order that we may be able to do them.” – Saint Augustine of Hippo (354-430)

“Grace can pardon our ungodliness and justify us with Christ’s righteousness; it can put the Spirit of Jesus Christ within us; it can help us when we are down; it can heal us when we are wounded; it can multiply pardons, as we through frailty multiply transgressions.” -John Bunyan (1628-1688)

“Grace does not destroy nature, it perfects it.” -Saint Thomas Aquinas (1225-1274)

“Grace grows best in winter.” -Samuel Rutherford (1600-1661)

“Grace is a certain beginning of glory in us.” -Saint Thomas Aquinas (1225-1274)

“Jesus wept; Voltaire smiled. From that divine tear and from that human smile is derived the grace of present civilization.” – Victor Hugo

“I do not at all understand the mystery of grace – only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us.” -Anne Lamott

Church Conversations: Avoiding Becoming a Church Member Drop Out

In my last article I wrote about folks who leave the church and I want to give you some hope this Advent season. In a sense we are all potential drop outs.  Things can happen and before we know it we might find ourselves no longer attending church.  Many members have had periods in their lives of being inactive.  So I thought it might do us well to talk about how to avoid becoming a statistic.

First- understand the real issue. When we leave the church it is a spiritual issue.   Jesus founded the church and sent us out.  The Holy Spirit empowers the church.  The church is God’s plan to reach the world with the good news.  Through the church we are equipped and enabled for our mission.  We need to be active in God’s church.

Second- we need to do what we need to do so that we don’t drift. The reality is we need a spiritual check up.  We need to be committed to attending, participating, and supporting a local church.  So how can we not be a drop out?

*Attend. Attend on a regular basis.  Attend not just worship but at least one other activity that will connect you to the body at a more personal level.  I’m still a fan of Sunday School and studies have shown that folks who attend SS have a much greater chance of still being in the church later than those who do not.  I’ve read that each person needs to have a relationship to at least five people in the church outside of their family in the local church.  We need each other.  And we can’t get that just by being in worship.  We need worship but we need other avenues to grow closer to the body.

*Participate. It’s more than going but doing!  We need to sing, pray, read, and be a part of the activities that are happening in worship.  We need to go to SS or another Bible study to learn and grow in our own faith.  We need to get involved in hands on mission work and not just send checks.

*Support. We need to do work in the church.  We may be asked to take a job in the church that is not our gift.  It’s OK to say no. Not every job is for us to take but there is a job for everyone. Find your place of service.  It’s hard to walk away when you are personally invested.  We show support by praying for our church and vocally supporting our church.    We also show our support by tithing and giving to our church.

We simply can not be all we can be without being a part of a local church.

On an individual basis we need to do personal prayer, Bible study, etc.  As we grow in faith we will mature and realize the need for God’s church.

Blessings,

Derik

Church Conversations: When the Church Back Door Is Busier than the Front Door

Sometimes a church has more leaving then coming.  The back door is busier than the front door! What’s going on?

I’ve preached and taught about why folks don’t come to church. Much is discussed on this topic and there are many books on issues relating to outreach.  The changing trends today are impacting church growth and this is a serious topic.  Back when I did my Doctor of Ministry work I did a project that dealt with the ‘dechurched.’ What does that mean?  Dechurched means ‘formally churched.’ Why do some folks (as adults) go to church faithfully for years and then quit? My project in seminary dealt with the role of preaching in this conversation.  In the Bible belt most unchurched are previously churched!  Those folks visit at Easter, Christmas, and other special times.  At those times what type of preaching will engage them and what will disengage them? As I interviewed folks I spoke with people who once went and no longer do and I spoke with folks who once did, quit, and came back.  I found that what they desired from preaching was not much different from those who don’t leave.  Preaching is still a major piece that draws people to specific churches.  I found that folks will forgive much in worship but if the preaching is poor and ineffective they will go elsewhere or not at all.  I found they desire preaching that is interesting and relational but teaches. Their time is precious and they want to hear a sermon that isn’t over their heads but doesn’t dumb down the faith.  They wanted sermons that were about real life but took the Bible seriously and didn’t ignore the Scriptures.  They wanted to learn more and to see how the Bible related to their actual lives.

From those conversations I also found there were many other factors that pushed folks out of church. Some folks left churches that did have good preaching.  It isn’t all up to the preacher!  The other topic that came up to me was relational. They wanted churches that included them, loved them, and ones that created healthy relationships.

I also believe the back door of many churches opens because of many other reasons.

Recently I was listening to some folks talk about why folks drop out and they brought up issues such as:

Busy schedules/lives

Outside responsibilities

Negative church experiences- judgmental/hypocritical churches, etc.

Moved too far away and haven’t found a new church

Other studies and surveys I’ve read bring out similar responses.  As a pastor I believe that these are realistic reasons we lose members.

Think about your church! Are there folks who used to come and no longer do? Of course there are!  Some joined other churches but many are staying home.  We have become so busy and Sundays have become days that are just like any other day.  Sports now play on Sunday and people just don’t place a high priority on church.  Imagine in your community if the parents of kids who play on a sport simply share with their coach that they will not miss church.  Is that even possible today?  As for not finding a new church when a person moves away then that also is an issue of priority.  A family has to make that crucial and vital when they move!

The third one I listed encompasses many issues. Unhealthy churches are pushing people out.  This is where my interviewed folks come into the picture.   Many described churches that they left that were unhealthy.  If it was just bad preaching they could find another church that had better preaching.  There usually was more to the story.  Churches that fight, judge others, are legalistic, or simply dysfunctional leave a sour taste in many people’s lives.

But let’s not be too hard on ourselves. Some folks leave for good reasons.  Some leave to join new churches and that’s not always bad.  If they quit and go nowhere it is sad.  But if they join another church it might be good for everyone.  Really?  Some people have changing needs and go somewhere else.  Some have changes in their theological beliefs and it is better to find a more suitable church than to be miserable or create division.  I’ve had folks in my ministry who divorced or lost a spouse and needed a change.  Sometimes a person marries someone and they decide to go their church or find a new one.  Many reasons exist.  The Kingdom of God is bigger than our church and so it isn’t the end of the world if folks move their membership.  However we want the front door to be more active than the back door!  All of our churches gain new members from other churches.  And yet I want more of my new members to come from new decisions for Christ.

Blessings,

Derik

Church Conversations: A Plea for Civility and Sanity

I’m thankful to be in a church that is not fussing and fighting and at war.  I really am.

I can’t say the same for many other pastors.

The more I mingle with other pastors or listen to coffee conversations locally and far away the more I hear of forced terminations of pastors by their churches.   I am also hearing of churches in great distress where pastors are leaving for new positions while the heat is on.  I wonder how many pastors left before votes were taken.  Are these pastors are guilty of immoral or unethical behavior. Nope.  In fact I rarely hear of that.  I am hearing more of a powerful group forcing the pastor to resign before it comes to the floor of the business meeting or an out right vote but never over any visible ‘charges.’  I know of pastors in their 60s (close to retirement) after years of service being asked to leave.  I know of pastors being asked to hurry up and get out of their parsonages.   There are ministers who serve over thirty years resigning or retiring early under great encouragement to do so.  Again, why?  Usually it is because the church isn’t growing and a new pastor would do it better!  Or maybe the pastor just isn’t exciting enough in the pulpit or lacks direction.  I decided to go on line and read some about why pastors are fired.  The reasons tend to follow as such:

*Control. Many times there is a power struggle.  A group thinks the pastor has to much authority or they don’t have enough.  Decisions are made and there is anger over how they are made.

*Personality issues. Often someone has their feelings hurt by the pastor or they don’t get along with the pastor and sides begin to be taken.

*Change. Some pastors are wanting to change or not wanting to change enough or too much or something along those lines.  Music style changes for worship tend to be big hot spots.

*Growth. The bottom line of what I see is that churches aren’t growing (see my previous articles) and it must be someone’s fault and so the pastor is to blame and is removed.  The result is the church usually doesn’t grow and actually shrinks after the pastor leaves.

I realize that there are times where termination is necessary. Sometimes pastors do break the law, have affairs, or show such poor leadership that decisions must be made.  I’m not going to defend all pastors.  Sometimes pastors have greatly brought on decline in the church.  Sometimes pastors are simply not very good.   I know pastors who are cruel, mean and do not do their job well.  I’ve been around some pastors that I think are out of control or ineffective or not doing their jobs.  But remember–

*Make sure the reason for termination is real.

*Do it right.  Always be Christian.

I know of churches who have fired their last three or four pastors.  Either that church is so bad at choosing leaders or maybe the church needs a second look at itself.  I know of churches that fire staff members (youth, music, etc) over and over.  I know of churches that force ministers out by making them as uncomfortable as possible and continue in this pattern historically.  I know of one church that fired their pastor two weeks before Christmas but right after the pastor’s wife led the Christmas program.  They were just tired of him.

When a church has to terminate a staff member of pastor they should follow their guiding documents and procedures and only as a last resort. A nicer way of ending the relationship could be worked out.  Perhaps working out a nice exit strategy where no one suffers would work best.  If a pastor is 62 years old (as I know in one case) why not work out a retirement plan instead of firing him?  Christians should always act like Christians.

When a pastor is fired everyone loses. The pastor is hurt emotionally and financially.  It is hard for a pastor who has no job to get a new position.  Suspicion makes him/her take twice as long and they may even leave the ministry.  The church has a bad reputation in the community and among it’s denominational partners.  Other ministers are not so eager to apply for a position in a church with a firing reputation.  The community around knows about it and many who are not Christian are turned off by the news.  It is a bad witness and testimony.  And those within the church become hurt and disgusted.  Every pastor has supporters!  The church usually shrinks and loses members and focus.   The next pastor often has years of work to do and it impacts the future story of the congregation.

Did I tell you I’m glad to be in a healthy church?  I am! I am so sorry for those who are hurting and this Advent/Christmas season my prayer goes out to those who are hurting.

For those of us in healthy churches I have a warning as well. We need to be on guard.  Unhealthy churches were once healthy.  We need to work hard to stay on track and focus.  If you are a pastor you have  big job to do and you need to do it well.  Stay on target.  Keep praying.  Keep working.  Be careful.

To those who read this article that I pastor I say thank you for loving me and for realizing I’m not perfect. For those of you who go to other churches pray for your minister and staff.  Talk to them honestly and help them be successful.

Blessings,

Derik